Well here we are. 9 weeks into this work on improving myself and I will say this. I haven’t quit, so I haven’t failed, but I’ll be honest I didn’t come through the Thanksgiving holiday like I should have.
First off our chapter in The Greatest Salesman continues to talk of love. Through love anything is possible. It was very fitting considering the Thanksgiving holiday. A time of year that we sit down with family and friends and give thanks for all the blessing in our lives. I’ll be honest. I am so overly blessed right now with so many things. My family both existing and new family of my fiancee. I was able to spend it with both for the first time all in the same house. A house overflowing with activity, stories, laughs, and plenty of food. By the end of the weekend it was decorated with a 13 foot Christmas Tree and stockings by the chimney with care. We were also able to go on a family pheasant hunt where there were plenty of shots fired, a few birds were shot, then afterwards a few beers were drank while telling stories. Going to my parents’ really his my happy place and a place that I seem to reflect the most on the number of blessings in my life and truly give thanks.
Gratitude. One of the most important things in our life. I just recently wrote an article for my local paper about gratitude and how the happiest people usually are the most thankful as well. Am I thankful? Definitely. Am I satisfied? Not yet.
I am going through this whole process because I know I need to change as a person. I know I have triggers that still create negative reactions. I still get into situations I don’t say the best thing. I hurt people I don’t want to hurt. I guess the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. The next thing is what do you do to fix it? Well I am trying. I am in no way where I want to be and have not made even close to the progress I feel I should have… but with that being said I still feel I am further along than I was at the beginning. Am I better than I was last weekend? I don’t think so, but that doesn’t mean I’ve failed. It goes back to the old saying don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Just because you get one low tire doesn’t mean you shoot the other 3. You take what you did the past week. You look at how you handled situations and see how you can change that. The biggest thing is to make that change. Find out what your triggers are. Learn how to substitute a different reaction for them. In the end realize that as long as you’re making progress, no matter how slow, you’re doing something right. We all have set backs and stumble some, but as long as you realize that it’s not the end of the world and do something to change it, you’re on the right track.
I know I will come out of this a better person. Till next time
Dr Christopher “TINY” Lane
So it’s only been a few days since my last blog post and I felt the need to write another. I’m continuing on with trying to stay positive and am still struggling, but I am getting better. I continue to really take into account the law of substitution. When I feel a negative thought, in essence I go to my happy place. This helps. The other thing that I have really noticed that helps is taking into my head the scroll that I’m reading right now out of “The Greatest Salesman.” I keep thinking in my head “I will greet this day with love in my heart.”
Just take a look at that line. This line has been helping me a lot this week. When I feel a negative thought or if I feel an opinion coming through, I think of love. I think of empathy, compassion. Everything that is missing in the world anymore with the Paris bombings. The fight over refugees. Democrats versus republicans. Vaccine versus anti-vaccine. The list goes on. It can make having a negative thought pretty easy.
Here is something. Beyond the master key and other ways to learn how to be a leader and achieve my goals. I also do a quarterly business retreat with a group called Renue. This group gets together to talk business as well as we work faith and spirituality into the discussion because a base with god, is a great start. One of the guys that attends regularly was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 6 years ago. He was given 9 months to live. It’s been 6 years and he is still awake and kicking as strong as ever. He founded a non-profit to help people navigate and get their cancer treated and is starting fundraising. Here is the thing. Since his diagnosis he has changed. He lives life with vigor. He cherishes everyday. He doesn’t get caught up in drama. He lives how we all need to live. To listen to him describe his diagnosis and story was an eye opener. He made the comment that he needed to be diagnosed with stage 4 cancer because stage 2 or 3 could have been helped with surgery and he might not be living with cancer. So in essence his diagnosis or terminal cancer saved him. It saved his soul. He knows he is a better person for it.
Now I know I need to be at that point… but I don’t want a terminal cancer diagnosis to really get me there. I know I am close to achieving things. I know I am getting there. I know I am just missing a few small things that will get me over the hump. Th good thing is I am working at finding what I’m missing and I’m not giving up. I know I will get there. The other thing I know is that while I live life, I delay some things. I delay a trip. I delay getting together with a friend. Well that is done. I could get a cancer diagnosis next week. Hell I could get in a horrible wreck. It reminds me of that saying. “Live every day like it’s your last because one day you’ll be right.”
Until next time
Dr. Christopher “TINY” Lane
So I keep getting this feeling like I’ve been in the dark for a while. I keep getting my eyes opened to new things, and even more so that I have a lot of room for improvement… a lot of improvement!! Well last week I found out just how opinionated I am and really what effect it has on my life, a large part being negative. Well that opened my eyes some.
Now let’s move onto this week. We’re supposed to not have a negative thought for an entire week. Yes an entire week. Now I consider myself a pretty positive person (rewind back to I thought I wasn’t very opinionated) so I thought that this wouldn’t be so tough. Every time we had a negative thought we started the 7 days over. My longest I went was about 12 hours… too bad 8 of those were me sleeping. While totally conscious I think I made it 4 hours. WOW!!! Eyes wide open now.
I need to really do some soul searching. I really need to do some changing and some consistent work on this. It just goes back to how can someone have positive outcomes when they have a lot of negative thoughts. Just can’t be done! It’s no wonder I’m not where I want to be. I had these positive views and plans of where I was going, but the many negative thoughts just cancelled those out.
So here we are the beginning of week 8 and it’s time to buckle down big time! All positive thoughts all the time. I can really tell I need to go to my happy place right away so I can get out of that funk of negative thinking. I can really tell I need to picture me hunting, my parent’s house at Christmas time, on the beach with my fiancee, anything that gets my thoughts on a positive note and back on the right track.
Something else I’ve really taken from this is I’ve been lying to myself for a while… and worse than that I’ve been believing some of it. Not a good combination. Well right now it’s putting the nose to the grindstone. Get out of this rut. Make some more changes. Really see what I can accomplish with my true genuine self. What can I do with my full effort? Just look at what John Wooden said:
Thanks John. I’m following that now.
Till next time.
Dr. Christopher “TINY” Lane
More and more I am witnessing time just flying. Here we are already past week 6 and it’s tough to believe. I’ll be honest when I heard our big assignment for the week was to have no opinion…. well I had a few opinions. I tried to wrap my head about how not having an opinion would help me but again I’m trusting the process. I knew I have a lot of opinions and I don’t hide them very well. I definitely don’t have a poker face… sorry Lady Gaga.
Once I really started paying attention to the opinions I had it really opened my eyes to a lot of things. First off I’m a chiropractor of almost 12 years so that was one aspect of my life I couldn’t just get rid of the opinions. “Hey doc my face is drooping do you think it’s a stroke? I have no opinion…. But my god the rest of my life it seemed all I had were opinions.
Everyone has their opinion and everyone thinks their opinion is right but that can dominate your life. It really can keep you from enjoying life. You focus so much on what your thoughts are. On what you think someone else should be doing or not doing. You spend so much time living other peoples’ lives through your opinions that you don’t live and most importantly enjoy yours.
So I know I need to continue to work on my opinions, or lack of opinions. I’m really not an expert in a lot of things so I guess I have no thoughts on much anymore. Honestly at times I almost get tired of being the guy people ask for his opinion so often. I’ve created that monster, but from here on out I can send them to someone who knows more on the subject matter than I do.
This week really opened up my eyes as to how I’m living my life based on my opinions of others. This again goes back to control freak!! Dam there it was again. I thought I was getting better at losing control. Guess I need to work on that. I’m a work in process, as we all are. The thing I do know is that I will be a work in process my entire life. That’s what’s makes life fun and exciting. Learning. Changing. Just becoming the you that you were meant to be.
I’ll be honest, last week was a blur for me with closing on our house and moving. Our task for last week was to keep our opinions to ourselves and pretty much have no opinion unless you are an expert. Beyond me giving my opinion to my patients, I couldn’t have one. Holy difficult! I see now exactly how much opinions dominate my life. I have an opinion on everything and my attitude was that if other people didn’t like it tough. But I can slowly understand why we shouldn’t be that way. Not that opinions are bad, but the thing is those thoughts take our eye off our goals, our wants, more importantly our needs (PPN’s).
We have these needs and there are so many things in this world that can take our focus away from the tasks we need to do to achieve them. I liked the example of the magnifying glass. Keep it moving and all it does is make things bigger, but if you focus it on one area for a while it can harness the energy of the sun and burn things. That is something that I feel is that successful people are uber-focused. I’ve been very focused before, but more to a detriment that to a benefit. The focus took things away from other people that needed it like my family and friends. I was so focused I wasn’t there to help other people as much as I should.
Week 6 right now has eyes more so to that as well as the saying that pops into my head “You get what you give.” I’ve given of myself a lot, but in places I was hoping to have that returned. I now know I need to give more to get more. I need to judge people less. That is something I know I have done way too much is judge people and usually off what I had done previously. I talked about this in a previous blog.
In week 6 our reading this week talks about love. Loving people more. Like the old saying “Love conquers all.” Well I know that I need to judge people less and love people more and continue to trust the process. Things seem to be working out pretty good so far.
Till next time.
Dr. Christopher “Tiny” Lane