Week 24: I Am My Own Worst Enemy


Well we’re getting close to the end of this 26 weeks learning about myself.  Trying to develop myself into a much more self directed, free thinking person.  It’s been 25 weeks of ups and some of the lowest lows I’ve ever had and perhaps one of the biggest lessons that I finally realized was in this past week.  I know I’ve talked about our impact.  I know I’ve talked about keeping positive thoughts.  I know I’ve talked about having no opinions.  I know I’ve talked about many other things in the past almost 6 months.

For the past month or two I’ve been asking myself a questions everyday and trying to figure out the answer.  “What am I pretending not to know?”  That’s an interesting question.  What does that mean?  Well what I’m saying is what am I lying to myself about.  What am I doing that I just talked about in my previous blog post?  In my mind and what actually caused some tears after last Sunday’s webinar is the true fact that I am truly in control of my life and truly have created what I have.

I know I have said it before but it is finally hitting me.  I am in the situation I am in because of not just my actions, but my thoughts, even those tiny little ones I feel are insignificant.  My chiropractic business is where it is at because of my actions and every thought I have.  When I go in with a patient and find out they aren’t doing what I’ve been teaching them to do to help get out of pain was first planted in my mind previously that I gave them the stretches with the tiny thought that they probably wouldn’t do it.  My relationships with my family are the way they are because of preconceived notions.  My life at home with my fiancee and her daughter, while good could always be better, are where they are because not only of my actions, but of the thoughts I ignore sometimes.  I go into things with an expectation and guess what? What I expect to happen acutally happens!!

So what does this mean?  I can totally change everything.  I didn’t realize the true impact I have on me, my life, and the people around me.  I couldn’t let go of my opinions and become a true observer of life.  I had my thoughts and notions have so much impact on my life that I keep manifesting exactly what my thoughts and notions said.

My biggest struggle is to become the quiet observer. To just sit there without any preconceptions. To not impose my thoughts over anybody.  This may sound crazy but look at quantum physics and the electron.  When an electron wasn’t being observed passing through a double slit it did one thing on the panel behind the slits.  When the physicists actually tried to observe the electron as they passed through the double slits, the electron did another thing.  We have science there to tell us that we can control things through observation.  We have an impact.  I know I sound crazy but it’s not the first nor is it going to be the last time you call me crazy.

Now moving onto perhaps the biggest thing I have taken away from my time with the MKMMA and it goes with this quote.

no price

When you realize this you’ll be free.  What I mean by this is no price is too high to pay to figure out what your purpose in life is.  You can never go too far trying to find out who you were meant to be and what you were meant to do.  I’ve come to the realization that we don’t truly live until we find our purpose.  I go to a  little clip from the movie Adaptation where the guy is talking about a flower that is very deep and would need an insect with a 12″ nose to pollinate it.  Darwin hypothesized that there was an insect with a 12″ nose around to pollinate it otherwise how else would it continue to live?  He was right.  In the movie the guys talks about this flower and insect and their relationship and here is how he ends it.

“Point is, what’s so wonderful is that every one of these flowers has a specific relationship with the insect that pollinates it. There’s a certain orchid look exactly like a certain insect so the insect is drawn to this flower, its double, its soul mate, and wants nothing more than to make love to it. And after the insect flies off, spots another soul-mate flower and makes love to it, thus pollinating it. And neither the flower nor the insect will ever understand the significance of their lovemaking. I mean, how could they know that because of their little dance the world lives? But it does. By simply doing what they’re designed to do, something large and magnificent happens. In this sense they show us how to live, how the only barometer you have is your heart. How, when you spot your flower, you can’t let anything get in your way.”

What this comes down to is the fact that your purpose is the flower and you’re the insect.  You’re one thing that you were meant to do in life is there, you just need to find it.  Pollinate it.  Let it grow.  In the grand scheme of the world it may be something huge or pretty insignificant, but who cares.  In the grand scheme o f your life your purpose is everything.

We weren’t meant to work 40-50 hours a week for 40-50 years only to retire when our bodies are falling or have fallen apart and sometimes our minds have as well.  The other part is many people don’t make it to that point.  My cousin John had a great life, but he’ll never be able to get to that point.  A 17 year old where I live just passed away this week and she’ll never be able to find her purpose and truly live life.  Why spend it binge watching Gray’s anatomy, Lost, or Walking Dead?  Is that what you were put on this earth for?  Is that what you feel God wants you to do?  I doubt it.  One of the biggest tragedies is not living up to our potential and sitting there on our death bed and having our talents surround us looking back at us wondering why we spent our time doing nothing.  Putting more effort into a party with our friends than trying to help ourselves live to our fullest potential. I’ve done this too so I;m not pointing fingers at anyone.  What I do know is that my eyes are even more open to what I am doing to affect my life, and what I can do to make it better.  I hope you figure out the same.

Till Next Time

Dr. Christopher “TINY” Lane


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